Thursday, 4 July 2013

Just Joking

Do you like jokes? I love jokes. I love it when people tell me a new joke which I can then pass along. I love hearing and telling jokes. Growing up, they were JAP (Jewish American Princess) jokes. When I was in Australia, you just got an Aussie drunk and he started telling jokes and I wrote them all down. I also have a dentist who loves jokes. At each appointment, he would offer up another joke and expect one from me.

The latest from the dentist is: There was a man who wanted to go shopping at the mall but when he got there, every parking spot was full. He lifted his head to the sky and prayed, "God, if you find me a spot to park I will go to church every Sunday." Suddenly he turned to the right and saw an empty space. Turning into the spot, the guy said, "Forget it God. Found one."

Now the jokes told in Australia were mostly blonde jokes; such as:

Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what's on the other side.

Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.

Aussies are also great for their sayings; such as,

Avoid hangovers, stay drunk!

I'm not loafing, I work so fast I'm always finished.

Thrill me then leave.

Let's get drunk so you can take advantage of me.

Some of the Jewish American Princess jokes were funny; such as,

How does a JAP commit suicide?
She piles all her clothes on her bed and jumps.

How do you know when a JAP has an orgasm?
She drops her nail file.

I made up one joke as a kid: Where are an elephant's sex organs?
On his feet because if he steps on you, you're fucked.

Now, I'm always on the lookout for new jokes but it isn't easy finding people who like to tell jokes. But a friend sent me an email recently with quotes and a couple were very funny. The funniest one I thought was:

a guy said, my girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis and asked what I was doing.
Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer
So, if anyone has a joke, please leave a comment and tell me. I'd love to learn some new ones and I love to laugh which always cheers me up.

have fun,