Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Slowly Changing my Life

No, I haven't been immediately cured. Used the CPAC machine for the first time last night. There is a nose piece and straps that go around my head. Attached to the nose device is a tube which reaches the machine which, amazingly enough, doesn't make a sound. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep but woke up a few times in the middle of the night feeling claustrophobic and also just because I was uncomfortable so didn't have a great night's sleep. Slept well but not yet good enough to change my life. Feeling tired and listless still today.

It will take a few days for the machine to work properly. I have to be patient. I know I was hoping for an immediate cure, but I must be realistic. These things take time to get used to.

Received a letter back from my publisher about my concern about rewriting my book Waiting for Love Online. She thinks I should continue with the book so it will be a while before it is published as a complete rewrite is necessary. I am looking forward to the work. I know just what I have to write.

have fun,

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Tonight I Sleep

It is a wonderful day. I received my CPAC machine this morning. It is about the size of a cable tv box. I have to add distilled water to it every night. There is a rubbery device which is placed over my nose and straps to hold it in place around my head. I didn't find it uncomfortable. I will have to remember to always breathe through my nose though I think I do that already.

The appointment progressed well as I was immediately shown a video describing sleep apnea and the CPAC machine which cures this problem. I had no questions by the end of the session as everything was explained very well. I have another appointment with them next week to see how it's going.

In addition, I was told that I will be going through another sleep lab after I have been on the machine for a while to test its usefulness. I will remember to take a picture of myself when I have all the electrodes on me so you can see how funny I look.

I have received the editorial report from the publishers concerning my book Waiting for Love Online. There are one or two major problems which will require me to go back and edit the novel from the beginning. I have written the publisher asking her if she thinks there is any point rewriting it. I am prepared to rework it but I don't want to go to the trouble if it won't sell. But I learnt a lot about myself from the editorial report.

In another day or two and I will have finished my fourth book That Truthful Place about children who develop telepathy and the course their lives take. I will then print it out and read it over in time. It needs to rest for a little while especially if I have to rewrite Waiting for Love Online.

I will write tomorrow hopefully describing a good sleep.

have fun,

Monday, 29 July 2013

One More Day

Sorry I haven't written much in the last little while but I have been so tired. One more day and tomorrow I receive the CPAC machine to cure my severe sleep apnea. I have heard from many people who either use the machine or know someone that has it and they all say the same thing: its difficult to get used to but it will change your life. Finally, I will get a good night's sleep and wake up in the morning refreshed and with energy. It's the energy thing I miss the most. I'm so tired all day that I have no energy for anything. Just going to the washroom is a feat.

Characteristically, I'm so used to being in control, it is a little difficult now waiting to hear from the publisher about editing my book: Waiting for Love Online. I have no choice but to sit back and wait to hear from them. Upon completion of the editing, I will receive an 8-10 page report about my book with notifications of spelling, grammar, typos, etc., problems. I will then have the opportunity to correct my book which I am looking forward to do. I doubt there will be many mistakes since my friend and neighbour, Miriam, edited the book and then I went back over the book correcting those mistakes and any new ones I found.

The weather has changed dramatically to the 45 degree Celsius weather we have been having. It is much cooler today and no humidity. If only it could stay this way all year!

I will write tomorrow to let you know how the appointment went. It will definitely be interesting and something totally new. I have no idea what they will be doing which lends in the excitement.

have fun,

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Contined from Yesterday

What a debacle yesterday was for me. As I left it with you, I was able to get in touch with another doctor in the sleep disorders clinic and was waiting for them to call with the news that they had found my chart and solved the prescription problem.

Well, believe it or not, but my vacationing sleep doctor called me from his private cell phone. He informed me that he had received notice that there was a problem with my prescription. He would immediately call the place where I get my cure and then call me back. It happened just as he said. He called back to inform me that Vital Air (where I get the cure for my severe sleep apnea) has received all the information that they need to find the proper cure.

It was the fault of the doctor that I lost my appointment yesterday. He forgot to fill in all the information in the forms provided by Vital Air. He explained that he had not only provided them with all the numbers they needed, he had also given them his cell phone number in case of any further problems. He has made up for his mistake and I appreciate what he did for me.

So, the first appointment I could get will be for next Tuesday. Another week of intense dreams and bad sleep. I can get through this. I just couldn't wait another three weeks. That would have killed me. Now that I know what is wrong with me and that there is something simple that can basically cure me, I can't sleep for excitement.

If I am allowed to sleep undisturbed in the morning, I usually remember my dreams but, this morning, I received some early telephone calls which knocked the dreams out of my head. My dreams are incredible. They are stories which have no ending. I always wake up before I can think of the ending. But, they are very interesting usually dealing with travel; such as, being in a foreign place and trying to get around. I always wish I could just copy those dreams onto paper.

I mix up places in my dreams. I may dream of trying to arrive at my friend's home in Israel, but I'm in the train station in Belgium and then I pass through a mall in Canada. Crazy eh? Actually, I have many dreams about travelling to my friend's in Israel. I always got lost going to her house even when I lived there. To this day, I could not draw a map to her home.

Sarah was an amazing woman. She and her husband came on sabbatical here in Hamilton when I was a teenager and we were able to meet her then as she worked with my father. When I arrived in Israel, I always had Sarah as a back-up in case of any problem. To me, she was a grandmother, mother, mentor, best friend, advisor, and therapist. I treasured her advice and her friendship. I learned so much from her especially cooking wonderful foods which she did so well. I often feel lost without her. After I had returned to Canada, I kept in touch with her by phone for many years until she died from complications of diabetes. That poor woman suffered with diabetes for many years. I remember watching her give herself Insulin injections.

It is important to remember people like that in your life when the days aren't so good. They remind us how special we are to have known such a person and how necessary it is to continue following their advice.

have fun,

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Guess What?

After feeling as if I had not slept a wink, I woke up at 7:30 am so that I would be awake in order to drive myself to my 10:30 appointment with the sleep clinic. My dreams were thick and detailed. I rose excited that today was the day I would finally get help with my severe sleep apnea.

I made it down to the kitchen and made that important cup of coffee. Returned to the living room to watch a movie and chat online to help wake me up and give me something to do until I had to leave for my appointment. It is a 30 minute drive away because it is across town and on the mountain, but it is situated near where I lived for a few years so I know the area.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, the phone rang at 8:30 am. Starling me, I had an instant feeling of dread. I answered the phone and it was the company where I was going for my appointment that morning. It seems that the sleep doctor did not give the company the proper prescription and so they had to cancel my appointment.

To make matters worse, my sleep physician has gone on holidays for 3 weeks and, therefore, I would not be able to get an appointment to get the cure for another 3 weeks.

Then, I had a brilliant idea. For my original appointment at the hospital, I was sent a letter with all the doctors' names on it who work in the sleep disorders clinic. So, starting at name one, I called every extension. The first doctor is also on holiday. The second doctor doesn't work Tuesdays. A third was not at her desk. Finally, at the fifth name, I obtained a real person and spoke with this doctor's secretary.

I explained my horrible situation and asked if her boss could look at my chart and send the company the correct prescription. I have no idea what prescription they are talking about, but I need it before I can get the hopeful cure for my severe sleep apnea. The lovely secretary said she would get back to me today. I hope she can help. That would be wonderful.

So, it's a day of waiting. Hopefully, I can get this straightened out soon. Wish me luck!!

have fun,

Monday, 22 July 2013

Believe it or not

Since learning that I have severe sleep apnea, I decided to pull out all my old medical reports which  I have kept over the years. The earliest is 1971 when my parents sent me to a psychologist. I have many reports leading up almost to the present but, what is interesting is to learn that in all the reports,  I complained of not sleeping and waking up feeling exhausted. The first report where they quote me is in a 1989 paper which states I was "felt wasted" and "very tired" when I wake up in the morning.

It is very frustrating to learn that I have been complaining of not sleeping all my life and no doctor ever really listened to me. I remember feeling tired before high school and definitely every morning when I worked. I know I complained of not sleeping to every doctor I saw. However, they would only treat me with medication which, of course, didn't work.

Tomorrow, hopefully, all my problems will be solved when I receive this new sleep apnea device. I hope to sleep for the first time tomorrow night. I'll let you know how I feel Wednesday. It would be a dream come true to wake up refreshed and not exhausted. That would change my life completely.

In addition, I came upon an interesting paragraph in the May 3rd, 1976 report (I was 13 years old) by a psychologist who is now deceased. I googled her just out of interest, but, not surprising, she has died. However, what she wrote is very interesting. She writes that I was looking to find out "what is wrong with me" and "I think I am emotionally disturbed."

After my quotes, she writes: "This examiner felt there was an over-dramatization on Patty's part although in a sense a real need to draw attention on the part of adults and particularly those close to her."

Can you believe that? I am crying out in pain and frustration and she dismisses me as a spoiled brat looking for attention. Most doctors said the same even though I begged them to help me. I'm so glad mental illness is so open these days. It's great that today children do not have to suffer like I did.

In case you don't know, I'm Bipolar/Manic Depressive. Diagnosed in 1989 when I was 27 years old.

have fun,

Friday, 19 July 2013

Next Stage

This afternoon I received a telephone call from the publishers to say that they had been through my book Waiting for Love Online and there are no legal issues with it. I could have told them that but I guess they have to do it. Now my manuscript goes to the editors to check for spelling, grammar, content, etc. This process will take 2-3 weeks and then I will know if there are any corrections needed or ways to improve my book. I look forward to their comments.

Four days to go ... but until what? I forgot to mention why I had to wait these days until I would be able to sleep. On Tuesday, I will be provided with some kind of mechanism that goes over my nose and will allow me to sleep. I am allowed to try the device for a month for free. If it works and I wish to continue using it, I have to pay for it. Not sure how much it costs but no matter what it is, I have to pay it. If it helps me sleep, then its a keeper.

Believe it or not, but my cat is outside all day lying on the patio stones just in front of my back door. She just lies there all day. I check on her every hour offering her the possibility to come in but she just puts her head back on the stone and goes to sleep. It is difficult to believe she is 19. I adopted her from the SPCA when she was 6 months old. She was found alone in a parking lot.

Emma is a very sweet cat. She is only 5 pounds so she looks like a kitten. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her since she eats and poops well. In addition, there is nothing abnormal in her behaviour except for the fact that she likes to sleep outside in 40 degree weather. Is that normal for cats? I don't know much about cats even though I've had Emma for a long time. I'm more a dog person.

When Emma was 7 years old, I adopted Kira, my dog. Emma was terrified of Kira and hid under the bed for 3 months. I felt terrible. After 3 months, Emma finally came out from under the bed but wouldn't leave the bedroom for another 3 months. It took about 3 years for Emma to relax around Kira. Now they are the best buddies and so cute together. Kira sometimes wants to play but Emma doesn't play, but they nose each other and Kira often licks Emma. I've tried to get pictures of this but it happens so fast.

I love animals and I am very lucky to have the two that I have. I'm not the most active person and luckily my pets are of the relaxed nature as well. I love them dearly and it will be very upsetting when they die but, when they do, I don't plan on adopting any pets for a while. I need a break from the responsibility. I am used to being free and having pets really ties you down. I look forward to being free again.

have fun,

Thursday, 18 July 2013


I only have to wait five days until I will be able to have a normal night's sleep. I have been considering how long it has been since I woke up refreshed. Maybe 30 years? I started taking sleeping pills when I was 13 years old. The medications I take for my bipolar have a side effect of drowsiness. However, none of that leads to a good night's sleep because I have sleep apnea and I have finally been diagnosed.

When I drag myself out of bed at around 11:00 p.m., I don't feel refreshed or rested. I feel exhausted. I live for the cup of coffee in the morning to help me wake-up. Mulling inside my head are the vivid dreams I had. Last night, I was looking after a neighbour's cats. He was always going away and I was getting tired looking after his cats. (The neighbours on my street have either dogs or nothing. I don't know anyone with cats.)

Right now, it is 1:30 p.m. and I feel exhausted. I have absolutely no energy (except for maybe playing in a poker tournament or writing). I am able to write at times like this; obviously. Actually, I'm feeling somewhat creative but don't ask me to get up!

Imagine, in five days, I will finally be able to sleep.

have fun,

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Verdict In

Today was my appointment at the sleep disorder's clinic where I received notification that I am suffering from severe sleep apnea. It is caused by the trachea narrowing or closing while sleeping causing me to have a very light sleep. That is why my dreams are so vivid. I never reach a deep sleep which is also the reason why I sleep 12 hours without feeling rested.

The doctor is arranging an appointment for me to meet with sleep specialists who will provide me with a kind of mechanism to put over my nose when I sleep which will hopefully assist me in sleeping and hopefully I will reach a deep sleep. Then I should sleep, not dream as much and allow me to sleep normal hours so that I can awake refreshed.

Boy, it is hot out. The temperature is in the high 30 degree Celsius or over 100 Fahr. It is rare for it to get this hot and everyone finds it difficult. I am so happy I have central air so the house is well air conditioned. It was so wonderful coming home to a cool house. Not taking the dog for a walk today. She won't even stay out longer than a few minutes. The cat is outside, but I will check on her frequently to see if she wants to come in. She doesn't seem to mind the heat.

Unfortunately, I'm exhausted from the appointment and the stress of reaching the appointment. I had to attend at a hospital and we all know that parking around a hospital is dear. Luckily I only had to pay $2 for parking on one of the side streets. I had a 10 minute walk through this heat to reach the hospital which isn't bad at all. I had spent many hours yesterday, last night and today worrying about finding a parking space that didn't require me to walk too far in this heat.

I'm glad today is over. I have long been expecting today and the results of my sleep test. Tomorrow, I will finish my fourth book That Truthful Place. I just have another few pages to write. Anyone want to edit it for me?

have fun,

Monday, 15 July 2013

We are lucky

Do you appreciate where you live? After watching trains exploding, floods and fires on the news, I look around my home and consider myself very lucky to live where I live. Unlike Brazil, Canada's healthcare is excellent. We are also very lucky to be able to attend appointments with whichever healthcare professional we require with no problems and without having to pay for it.

Also shown on the news was a water splash pad where water is cool and easily available to play with and run through. Children seem to love these small water parks, but look at all the water wasted. Can you imagine someone from Africa or India coming to Canada and able to play in one of those splash pads? I think they would be in shock with the abundance of water. Aren't we lucky?

Many people in Toronto recently were flooded out. Their houses were filled with water coming out of their sinks, toilets, showers, etc. This amount of sewage ruined numerous numbers of homes. We were shown pictures on the news revealing mountains of furniture, books, carpets, and anything else people kept in their basements.

Could you imagine suddenly losing everything through a flood or fire? Traumatic eh? I'm terrified of fire so I have a very good plan about how to get out of my house in case of fire. I know Kira, my dog, will come to me immediately in case of danger, but my cat rarely answers to her name or comes when I call her. I dread the thought but I'd probably lose her in a fire. She could hide somewhere in the house and I'd only be putting myself in danger to try and find her to get her out of the house.

I do consider myself very lucky and privileged to live where I do in Ontario. All we can complain about is the humidity or the cold but then our homes are heated or kept cool by an air conditioner. We really have no reason to complain but, then again, people always need something to complain about. But why? We are so lucky compared to so many. I think we should count our blessings before we make a complaint.

have fun,

Friday, 12 July 2013

Uploaded Book

Whew! Spent the morning downloading my second book: Waiting for Love Online to the publisher. It took me a few hours to write all the necessary captions for my book as well as filling in the blanks on the publisher's to-do list. Glad it is over and done with. Now I have to wait one to two weeks for the editors to review my book.

Waiting for Love Online is a series of emails and there are lots of pitfalls for organization and format. It was so much work setting up my chat book: Shall We Chat? Revealing the Secrets of Chatting Online which is available on Amazon. Because of the specific chapters and headings, there was so much to organize when publishing the book. Luckily, I won't have to do that with Waiting for Love Online because the editors will complete that part of the publishing process.

Decided to finish my fourth book That Truthful Place. I hope to finish it in the next couple of weeks.

I received a call from the sleep disorders clinic reminding me of my appointment Wednesday. Wouldn't miss it for the world. I will be getting an answer about my problems with sleep. Can't wait.

have fun,

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Publishing Again

Guess what? I'm self-publishing my second book through Chapters. This one costs something, but I thought I'd take a chance and get some professional help. The cost is not that great, but you can pay upwards of $4,000 just to "self-publish". That amount is, of course, beyond my means but this one has cheaper packages.

What am I publishing you ask? I am publishing my second book entitled: Waiting for Love Online which is a non-fiction romance. It is a simple tale of girl meets boy. they fall in love and decide to marry. But what happens along the way is described in a series of emails covering a ten month period.

I'm not going to tell you the ending. You'll have to read that for yourselves. I hope you are interested. It will probably take a few months before it will be ready for sale. Of course, when it is, I will let you know.

I'm having one of those days. Well one of those days for a writer. I have almost finished my 4th book which is about children developing telepathy. I don't have much more to write there but I have to sit down and write it. But it's difficult to work on it because I have almost finished my 5th book which is about five poker buddies who uncover a conspiracy.

Now, the real problem is that I am now working on my 6th book. I can't get it out of my mind. I have written the plot and now I know what I want to say, but the words are not oozing from my fingers. What I have written sounds boring and limp. So, I'm all tied up with that book suffering the want of exposure but can't write syndrome.

So what do I do instead? Come here and write the blog. I am also waiting for the guy at the publishing company to get back to me. They are having trouble with their website.

I will keep you apprised of my publishing trail. It should be interesting.

have fun,

Tuesday, 9 July 2013


Ever try to reach a real person from some of the large companies? Usually you dial a 1-800 number and then spend 10 minutes (or longer) going through menus. Either you speak a word or you press a number and then another number and then another to reach a live person who can help you with your problem. Isn't it a frustrating venture?

Try and find the telephone number for Ticketmaster! There is no telephone number listed anywhere on their website.

So, I turned to the little icon I have at the top of my computer screen which allows me to look up telephone numbers. I searched Ticketmaster and received many different telephone numbers to call to attempt to find someone to help me. I had bought tickets to take my nephews to a Blue Jay baseball game in August and was having trouble printing them out from online so I was hoping to speak to someone who could have the tickets sent to me via snail mail.

Starting with the first site that the Yellow Pages provided me, I began calling the Ticketmaster telephone numbers down the list. Two number startled me with an extremely loud blast of a ring tone. Another two didn't have anyone answering at all.

Finally, at the sixth telephone number, I made my way into the Ticketmaster system only to be told by a computer voice that I had to call another number to reach customer service. I called that the new number to finally reach a real person. I was a little frustrated by this point so when I heard his voice I bluntly and directly exclaimed my difficulties in reaching a real person at Ticketmaster. The man said he would make a note of this then kindly transferred me to the proper number and customer service.

I must have waited at least 15 minutes before the customer representative came onto the line. While waiting, I had to listen to this loud French music which seemed bizarre coming out of a Ticketmaster site.

Finally, when I was talking to a real woman, she quickly and easily organized my baseball tickets to be sent to my house. All that phoning and waiting and dialing, etc., for a five minute call. Whew, I'm exhausted, but so happy my problem has been solved.

Anybody else have stories? I'm sure you do. Leave a comment and tell me.

have fun,

Sunday, 7 July 2013

The Drive-In

When was the last time you were at a drive-in? Last night, I went to the drive-in to see the movie: The Heat, with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It was playing at the drive-in in Stoney Creek which is at the other end of the city from me. The movie is hilarious. Both actresses were wonderful and it was a fun movie.

I don't know about you, but I had never been to a drive-in before. I don't know why. I had a boyfriend all through high school and we used to drive around with his friends and their cars, but we never went to a drive-in. So, I was so excited to be given the opportunity to go to a drive-in now. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like.

It's a Saturday night and the drive-in was packed. It must have taken us 15 minutes just to get near enough to the booth to pay ($11.00 a person). There were three large screens at the drive-in and we were at number 1 and had to drive around a bit to find a good parking space. The place was packed, but we were able to find an excellent parking space in the second row of cars right in the centre of the screen.

Remember that at drive-ins there was a clumsy, metal speaker box you would settle on the window of your car to hear the dialogue? Well now you just adjust your radio station to the appropriate number and you hear the dialogue perfectly. Some people brought chairs and sat outside their vehicle and listened and watched the movie. You could hear everything perfectly from outside the car.

The drive-in was an amazing site. It was night and so dark outside. The outdoor theatre is surrounded by trees. There were rows upon rows of every type of vehicle sitting quietly watching a movie. The air was silent and so was the whole area. All you could hear is the dialogue of the movie. Otherwise, there was perfect silence. So many people and so little sound. Everyone was ensconced in their own little worlds enjoying a movie together. It was a lovely experience.

So, maybe, if the opportunity arrives, go to the drive-in. It's a unique experience to be enjoyed as an opportunity to do something different for a change.

have fun,

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Just Joking

Do you like jokes? I love jokes. I love it when people tell me a new joke which I can then pass along. I love hearing and telling jokes. Growing up, they were JAP (Jewish American Princess) jokes. When I was in Australia, you just got an Aussie drunk and he started telling jokes and I wrote them all down. I also have a dentist who loves jokes. At each appointment, he would offer up another joke and expect one from me.

The latest from the dentist is: There was a man who wanted to go shopping at the mall but when he got there, every parking spot was full. He lifted his head to the sky and prayed, "God, if you find me a spot to park I will go to church every Sunday." Suddenly he turned to the right and saw an empty space. Turning into the spot, the guy said, "Forget it God. Found one."

Now the jokes told in Australia were mostly blonde jokes; such as:

Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what's on the other side.

Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.

Aussies are also great for their sayings; such as,

Avoid hangovers, stay drunk!

I'm not loafing, I work so fast I'm always finished.

Thrill me then leave.

Let's get drunk so you can take advantage of me.

Some of the Jewish American Princess jokes were funny; such as,

How does a JAP commit suicide?
She piles all her clothes on her bed and jumps.

How do you know when a JAP has an orgasm?
She drops her nail file.

I made up one joke as a kid: Where are an elephant's sex organs?
On his feet because if he steps on you, you're fucked.

Now, I'm always on the lookout for new jokes but it isn't easy finding people who like to tell jokes. But a friend sent me an email recently with quotes and a couple were very funny. The funniest one I thought was:

a guy said, my girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis and asked what I was doing.
Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer
So, if anyone has a joke, please leave a comment and tell me. I'd love to learn some new ones and I love to laugh which always cheers me up.

have fun,